I have a problem with sharing my emotions verbally, and therefore I end up holding everything in until I burst. Thankfully, Nate knows how I work and he can deal with it, but I am still working on how to control my thoughts. What leads to these mental breakdowns you ask? Well, let me just tell you. EVERYTHING. My main issue is that I over analyze things - things that I do, what people say to me or about me. I think about things and replay situations over and over in my mind until I crumble. I have done this for as long as I can remember. Not only do I replay situations that occurred in real life that I wish I could go back and change, but I also play out scenarios that haven't happened - think Criminal Minds/Law and Order:SVU type of things. I then proceed to freak out about them and scare myself completely.
In the past I have also struggled with anxiety from time to time. This began when I left for college from what I can remember but my mom may beg to differ. The day before I left for school I remember laying in my bed and having a panic attack, and my mom coming up and helping me through it.
Ever since, I have gotten pretty good and noticing when I am starting to lose control of my emotions and about to have a complete meltdown. I have also been able to come up with ways to calm myself down when these situations arise - and in part this is thanks to my Mom.
She always would tell me to find my happy/safe place and just think positive thoughts. Take deep breathes, close your eyes and just forget everything. I also have gotten into the habit of singing a song in my head - or out loud if needed - to take my mind off of things. And finally I say a little prayer. My faith isn't as strong as I would like it to be - I am working on it - but I know I can always find strength and peace in my Lord. All of these things have really helped, but I know I still need to work on my problems. I know they exist, but i am not great at keeping control over them.
Anyway, here is where I go when I need to retreat to my happy place - Vermont. I was born there, I love it there. I am always happy when I visit. It has been a while since I have been there personally, but my family visits every year and so I get to live vicariously through them.
 |
| Mt. Tom | Woodstock, VT |
 |
| Killington | Killington, VT |
 |
| Killington | Killington, VT Photo Cred | Mindy Graber |
How do you stay calm?
Thanks for reading this one. I know it was a big heavy on the emotional/personal level. Do you all like these kind of posts - the real life kind - or should I do something else?
xo,
KatiAnne
xo,
KatiAnne
No comments