Okay, now it is time to get really, real on a Monday. Helene and Taylor have given the prompt for #blogtober14 today to be "Your biggest fear", and unlike some of the other days I didn't even have to think about what to write. My absolute biggest fear has been the same probably since I got into college, if not earlier. I have other fears like killing spiders (I worry about them popping and baby spiders shooting everywhere - it happened once), and I am also extremely terrified of clowns (like can't sleep for days, may start crying if I see one). However there is one fear that tops the list and causes more anxiety than anything else.
I am terrified that I will not be able to have children.
There is absolutely no reason for me to have this fear that I know of. Every doctor's visit I have ever had has been a positive one and I have never had them tell me there is even a slight possibility that I can't have children. The idea that I would not be able to carry my own child or that something is wrong and I can't conceive literally causes me to panic.
I know that there are other options and really I have no reason to even worry about it that I know of, but that is what a fear is right. Everyone has something, mine just happens to be connected to the possibility of a little girl that looks like me existing.
What is your biggest fear?
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